Nigerian lawyer and businessman Olufemi (Femi) Afolabi-Brown has sparked widespread reactions after explaining why he believes men who intend to practise polygamy should wait about 25 years after marrying their first wife before taking a second spouse.
Afolabi-Brown, who is married to media personality Morayo Afolabi-Brown, shared his views during an episode of The Brown Couch Podcast, where he discussed marriage, family dynamics and what he considers the ideal structure for a successful polygamous home.
According to him, one of the major causes of rivalry in polygamous families is marrying another wife too soon after the first. He argued that spacing the marriages by about 25 years would create a generational gap between the children, thereby reducing competition and conflict within the family.
He explained that a man who marries his first wife at the age of 25 should ideally wait until around the age of 50 before taking a second wife.
“Your first wife ought to be a lot older than your second wife. You can marry your second partner at age 50 if you first marry one at age 25.
“So the first child’s children become like the older brothers, uncles and aunts to the younger ones. They are not of the same generation, so there will never be rivalry between them,” he said.
The businessman maintained that when children from different wives belong to separate generations, they are more likely to see one another as extended family rather than direct competitors for attention, inheritance or parental affection.
Afolabi-Brown further argued that taking another wife only a few years into a marriage often creates unnecessary tension that can destabilise the home.
“If you marry your first wife in the first year of your marriage and then marry your second wife in the third year, your home will be the centre of chaos. You cannot escape it,” he said.
He also stressed that couples should first establish a shared purpose before considering polygamy, saying such alignment often takes several years to achieve.
According to him, many marriages require at least a decade for both partners to fully align their vision, values and long-term goals.
“Before a husband and wife can consolidate in purpose, it may take 10 years.
“Once they identify that purpose and both of them have keyed into it, if the man goes to marry a second wife because of the purpose, the first wife will overlook it,” he added.
